Wednesday, March 15, 2006
shann
Walk Away - Corrinne MAyHey girl,
What is the matter
You're crying your heart out again
Don't lie girl,
This was not some accident,
Your bruises they give you away.
Your face sighs in shades of purple,
Your eyes a story of pain
Walk away
You're worth more than he'll ever realize
Baby walk away.
Spare yourself this pain
Cant you see that he's not worth it?
You're not mean to be treated this way,
Baby walk away. You say that you really love him
You say that he'll notice someday
But your face still sighs in the purple,
Your eyes tells a story of shame
Walk away
You're worth more than he'll ever realize baby walk away,
Spare yourself this pain,
Cant you see that he's not worth it?
You've been waiting for his love for so many years
Well girl,
You may not live to see that day.
Baby walk away.
Your not meant to be treated this way.
Baby walk away.
Baby walk away.
Baby walk away.
Hmm. I was listening to my dust-covered mp3 player today and came across this long forgotten song. The first two stanzas feel familiar ya?
Posted by a princess (: at 2:34 PM
Sunday, March 05, 2006
shann
Hey there black bouncy one,
joanne was worried and she smsed me to tell me about your post tt u poured so much emotions into. I dunno much, but hope i can be of some help to you.
Guess, i can relate to the pain u are feeling for the relationship bah. Its like a week since we broke, and nothing much happened. Not a phone call, not an sms. And i really really miss him. To the point tt every night i have to sleep really early to prevent myself from thinking about him. He really meant alot to me. And its hard to forget about him.. so i just dun think about him. =) time heals all wounds bah..
Andrew really meant so much to you ya?
Get him back! I dunno what happened, but it's not irreversible righT? It's never too late for someone you love. There are so many sweet and happy memories that u both share, savour them. Let the bad times and the quarrels roll down your back and learn from them. TRy not to let history repeat itself.
What i see, is that you both really love each other.
You dont need a reason to love someone, tt was something tt weei mentioned during econs. So u dun go crack ya brains ya? And i guess, "break up" was mentioned quite a few times and he is battered and sort of bruised? But i dun think he meant what he said. it was probably what he dreads bah.
And the messaging thing. Its like tt de. You just want to be "with" the person u love every hour every minute of the day. Not despo or overly sticky. Perfectly normal. And him not replying or taking long to reply, he has his own reasons. And u do trust him.
You know, i have a fren tt sort of went through the same thing as you. You're so not a jinx. If anything, u are like a colourful ball! Not the round part! but the colourful and playful part! (I so am not a lit student. But u noe what i mean ya?) You bring laughter and smiles to 84'ians, with ya really leg-less jokes. You are just so bursting with life! Keep it up man! Jinxes dun have pple surrounding them, but you do! =D Pple stay away from jinxes.. But no one stays away from you! And dun even think tt u bring bad luck or what. Demons might be out of jobs den.
So girl. Hope you'll feel better soon! And the way to 4as is concentration and focus! Which i totally lack now. So we must jiayou together ya! I so wan the As too! Now tt i'm a 3-sub-er. Dang.
If you need us, we'll always be there for you.
Girl. You're on my prayer list tonight.
Posted by a princess (: at 11:34 PM
joANNE
hey bern..
was feelin bored just now so came to see our blog. yupps. den came across this post.. could tell that u seem reli sad over this. and its like thou u dont exactly show much of ur emotions to us in school. but like from this post. sort of like could tell that lots of things are reli botherin u now. umm. was kind of flustered. so i told shannie about it. and she felt that i should reply u sth at least. so yupp. im writing this post just for u ! anyway wanna let u noe that no matter wad happens.. u are always our(1984) so full of crazy ideas-lovable-bouncy bern k ! dont ever forget that u were the one that created 1984 in the first place ! so shoo away those thoughts about u being a jinx or a curse or wadever ok ! NONSENSE ! u are so not one.
somehow i noe we cant reli do anithing much to be able to help u in any practical way. and the things that we might say to comfort u may sound lame at times. but yupp. reli reli hope that u will feel better yah ? CHEER UP MY DEAR !
bernbernbern. all these is just for u =):
Don't be sad because it's over, be happy because it happened.
Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile, And finds in your presence that life is worth while, So when you are lonely, remember it's true: Somebody, somewhere is thinking of you
God never closes a door without opening a window. He always gives us something better when he takes something away.
The most wasted day of all is that on which we have not laughed
Remember, no man is a failure who has friends.
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
Remember, you're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think
BE STRONG ! =)
Posted by a princess (: at 8:02 PM
bern; contradictions.
i'm sorry i made you cry. when i dont even know what am i doing. do i want to break ? but i need you so much. my mum obviously thinks we're gg to end up together since she told you so much. you're my world boy. i dont know. chem test tomms. nothing's done. just realised we were supposed to study at the airport today. ohwell. i dont know it's like the first time i am awake the entire night when usually i need like 15hrs of sleep ? was just lying there, crying.
Posted by a princess (: at 12:56 PM
Saturday, March 04, 2006
bern; big big girl.
this song totally describes everything to a tee right now.
big big world- emiliaI'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
miss you much...
I can see the first leaf falling
It's all yellow and nice
It's so very cold outside
like the way I'm feeling inside
I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
miss you much...
Outside it's now raining
and tears are falling from my eyes
Why did it have to happen?
Why did it all have to end?
I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
miss you much...
I have your arms around me warm like fire
but when I open my eyes
You're gone...
I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
miss you much...
I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do feel I will
Miss you much
Miss you much
i dont know i manage to always screw things up to this state. maybe i'm a jinx to myself, others and anything i do. i'm sure that true. like the cheerleading event and the stuffs i used to be in-charge with. character weakness ? procastinations. dragging my feet too much. i mean like gyl and i finally got over all the fights and stuffs, we were like fine for like what 2 weeks and i just have to start all the quarrelling again. vicious cycle ? it's just me. but for what purpose ? can i just be some simpleminded person and STOP THINKING SO MUCH. IF I THINK SO MUCH I SHOULD BE DOING WELL FOR GP AND ECONS AYES ! ALL THE ANALYSIS AND EVALATION AND I WONT STINK IN AQ. fuck.
but everything is just too late now. and i will miss my baby lots. but seriously, i think he'll be so much better off. no more dealing with bern's moods, bern's weird thinking, bern's craziness, bern being an embarrassment, bern's problems. he can be so happy. he will stop occurring opportunity costs for finding his one true love who will bring him ultimate bliss. everything is all bern's doings anyway.
i'm sorry hushing. i dont know why. but i just cant cry in front of him. then i call you up crying when you already got over your problems. dont worry, i wont drag you down with mine. but really, i dont think he's another alex. cause the fault is mine. i dont know, but i couldnt do anything today. just moped around, depressed. laying on bed, trying not to think but just looking at my phone waiting for his message. it did came. he said, seriously right, how will you feel if someone totally ignores you for a day. only contact you when she feels like it. what the hell do you take me for ? it's like holding me ransom ? do you even know and care about how i feel ? the message too much thing is so sucha lame crappy excuse. there is no such thing.
it sounds stupid but that was i really felt that was why i disallowed myself from replying although i couldnt stand it. i message him too much. i have to message him to pass each day. i cant concentrate when he dont reply. i dont feel fine when he stops replying. isnt all these overboard ? i feel as if i'm oversticky, i'm being despo, etc ? it's like i have changed so much that i dont recognise myself. i did mention to him before, more than once even, but all he ever say and the first question he always askes is the same. SO YOU WANT TO BREAK ? i dont need that. i dont mean that. i dont know. bern is such an insecure bitch. but you know what. you dont have to care anymore. i'm also not gg to do all these anymore. everytime some thing goes wrong, you claim i dont love you, i regret this rls, i take you lightly. is that all i ever meant to you ? is that what you think of me ?
maybe it's my bad karma from the past or something. but i know. after this, i'll never love again. i dont know. am i starting my isolation all over again ? i thought that was over. please, i hate doing this. i hate being alone. but i'll. i'll study. i'll get my 4a's. i'll bring my mum happiness. today, she said i had to choose. whether i'm following her or my dad. my sister obviously is gg with my dad. me ? i dont know. it's true they stopped loving each other long time ago but cant we continue living as a family ? but i'm not true if they ever loved each other. hushing you see, dont envy me cause i'm damn resoluted in not getting married. i'm just a coward, afraid to be like them. marriage is always a graveyard of love. in fact, they got married only because of me, once again bern is a curse. i dont know, gyl knows of the selling the house and the moving thing but i never did told him about the divorce thing. sometimes, i wonder do i tell him too much ? does he even want to know or is interested in knowing them ? my mum thinks so. she says men cannot be trusted. why be dependent on them when you can be independence. why be so stupid when you study hard, be rich you can do anything. so i'm only gg to focus on my 4a's now. i really dont want to care about cheerleading. responsibility ? i just want to hide away. forever.
Posted by a princess (: at 7:57 PM